Insecure

Insecurity is a very real thing in my life. Not only with body image, which I'm sure many young women struggle with, but also with feeling secure in a relationship.

So far, the 365 project has opened to my eyes to what is and can be beautiful. It's not what Hollywood tells us, but rather, beauty can be how I see myself. In the past 71 days, I've learned that I can feel good about myself, and that I don't have to have the perfect body or the perfect skin, or the perfect hair, to be beautiful. Beautiful is merely the outward expression of how you feel on the inside.

As for relationship insecurity, this is still something that I struggle greatly with. Being in a long distance relationship only sharpens those insecurities too. However, I've discovered that with my own changes in how I see myself, so too have the insecurites involving my relationship changed. As I come to accept myself, it then becomes easier to let myself be loved and appreciated.

I imagine there is no easy fix or either, just time. So time is what I'm taking. Discovering myself, feeling beautiful, and letting myself trust that, yes, I can be loved, appreciated and seen as beautiful in another's eyes.

My 365

Photography is a massive passion of mine. Ultimately, I hope it pays all my bills someday. Until then, I'm forced to keep it on the side; doing small shoots, learning new tricks, and currently a project called 365, are all keeping me entertained!

365 is a project I discovered on Flickr, and it involves taking a self portrait everyday for a year. It forces you to be creative, to make the same subject, yourself, be somehow different and interesting everyday. Granted, life intereferes and not all of my photos are even post-worthy, but I try to put in an effort whenever possible. But in the end, its not really about being excellent or perfect, but about documenting your life everyday for a whole year.

I started on January 1st, feel free to follow my journey!

Come Back To Me

My love and I attend different colleges, hundreds of miles apart. It is hard...so unbearably hard to be away from the person that completes you. However, we endure, for each other.

I find it amazing what our love is capable of. I had this vision in my head of what love would be like, all according to the way its portrayed in silly romantic movies. It both failed and exceeded those preconceived notions.

Failed in all the general ways that it does. Its hard, it takes work, its messy, you hurt, you cry, you argue, but at the end of the day you'd rather be fighting and angry, than live without the other.

Exceeded in ways that I never dreamed. There is a confidence that I gain from both the love that I give, and the love received. It is deeper, so much deeper, than whether I feel beautiful or not. It is a confidence that makes me feel like nothing is out of reach. All of my dreams, my goals, my desires, they're attainable. The amount of support that comes with our love makes anything possible. I can achieve anything, strive for anything, be anything. Failure does not exist. And no matter the outcome, he will always stand behind me, ready to catch me, should I fall.

It is a love that is sustained and has even grown through the months of distance. A love that astounds me in it force and cripples me with its strength. A love that I simply want to return to my arms and never be so far away again.